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The
Heart of Midlothian and my corner of the world.
By the time I’d
finished the third draft of my book, I had been writing
for over a year and yet there was still no title name that struck the
right chord. Around half of the book’s content is focused on my
life whereas the other half is dedicated to my journey as a Hearts
supporter. Essentially, it’s an autobiography, with large
football content but I still wanted its title to equally represent both
Hearts and the other locations where the book is set; and not least
Saughton Mains Bank. It eventually dawned on me that the one
thing that actually links Saughton Mains Bank to Tynecastle Stadium is
the relatively short distance between them. It is almost exactly
two miles from one to the other and seeing as that was literally a line
in the book anyway, I decided to use the phrase to give the book its
overdue title. My early life and my love for Hearts FC had found
its link, and it had been there all along. The cover photo of
Bobby and me on the doorstep encapsulates that journey. It’s the
instamatic potential before the kinetic.
Heart of Midlothian FC isn’t the archetypal, run of the mill football
club. No sir: Hearts torture and maim their fans, they goad and
mock, ridicule and shock; they squeeze and suck the very will to live
out of us Jambos. Yet somehow, and often inconceivably so, they
will thrill and woo us, taking us to the greatest of highs; yet never
without that torture. Hearts haul their fans right to the edge of
the abyss, and most of the time they just drive right off it. My
first experience of Hearts took place on April 21st 1982 in a midweek
First Division league match, in front a paltry crowd of around five
thousand. It could be argued that that team was ‘officially’ the
worst in Hearts’ history, in that not only were they stuck in Scottish
Football’s second tier, but they weren’t even able to hoist themselves
out of it come the season’s end. Yet I see it very
differently. For me, that mild evening was the footballing
equivalent of amour à
première vue. It was a
thunderbolt, lightning…but in the guise of Willie Pettigrew and Walter
Kidd. Following Hearts over the years, as described in great
detail within the pages of my book, has been something akin to the
rollercoaster ride that the pie-scoffing, juice juggling chubby Boy
Scout undertook on Jim’ll Fix It. Oh, don’t get me started, but
all I will say is – buy the damn book!
The set of Two miles to Tynecastle
touches upon contrasting locations
from the great Carpathian basin in Hungary to the desolate canyons of
Utah: yet the vast majority of the book is situated within Edinburgh’s
grey western suburbs. Though not instantaneously alluring, I’m
quite proud of the area because it isn’t
outstandingly scenic or
celebrated. Like those canyons, the area has remained largely
untouched, metaphorically speaking, and I include her people in
that. Look at Edinburgh outwardly. There isn’t really an
image to define the locals in contrast to other UK cities; gallus
Glaswegians, Scouse scallies and chirpy Cockneys. My Edinburgh
doesn’t really have such eminent personifications and indeed there
isn’t even a satisfactory terminology for grouping Edinburgh people as
a whole. Now take a look at Edinburgh from within: an
establishment financial capital that hosts a world renowned arts
festival. Think Edinburgh and people will say The Castle, tartan
tammy hats, Hogmanay on Princes Street, scones in Morningside, The
Fringe Festival, Rugger at Murrayfield, The Royal Mile and the occasion
Rankin or Welsh sourjon down some squalid flat in Leith. Where
are Hearts in Rebus? Where is Gorgie in literature? When is
Saughton Mains ever on TV? And most of all: where are the kind of
people that I know?
That’s what makes Two Miles
not unique, but indigenous. Of
course, the feelings, the emotions and the football are unanimous to
supporters of Hearts, Hibernian, or fans of other teams. In fact
it would even appeal to those strange non-football fans that aimlessly
wander the earth. But the locations are (nearly) all EH11 and
EH12. This is not an Edinburgh story set upon the ramparts of its
castle because in thirty-four years of living in this city, I have
never actually been to Edinburgh Castle! But I have been to
Tynecastle, The Busy Bee pub in Saughton Mains, Stenhouse, Calder Road,
Carrick Knowe, Longstone, Broomhouse, Balgreen and The
Wheatsheaf. And why tourists queue to pay £10 to go down
the
Old Town underground vaults is beyond me. They could get a bigger
fright by walking round the Wester Hailes Shopping Centre during the
day and it’s all for free. But I love the Wester Hailes Shopping
Centre. Not because I think it’s beautiful: but because I think
it’s real to me. It was a part of my life, as I used to go there
to pay my mum’s rent, or run down the escalator with my mates. Two Miles to Tynecastle
is an Edinburgh story, but fundamentally, a
West Edinburgh story. I’ll leave The Castle, the New Town and
Leith to those established writers and columnists, whist keeping Bains’
pies at Stenhouse Cross my very own secret. |